Yup, shaved it all off. I’ve been asked why and if something was wrong among other responses. All responses were comical and somewhat rude, to me. People can’t seem to understand why an attractive person with all that hair would get rid of it. Something must be wrong. Well it was.

My hair has always been a place of contention for me. It’s extremely thick, curly, frizzy, kinda straight,soft, kinky and thick (yes, I said it twice). I could barely feel my scalp at times. It would take HOURS to style. And until I was pointed in the direction of somewhere like Rank & Style and their recommendations for the best hair dryers on the market, it was an absolute nightmare to get it dry too. With everything else going on with it, this was the last thing I needed on my plate. When I would get it braided on my scalp, styles I found quite beautiful, it would hurt. If someone wants to spend 4 hours getting your hair done, go right ahead. And let me not start about how difficult it was to manage – from the best oil for curly hair to shampooing, I was not cut out for it! I just didn’t like it. No matter how good it looked. I was no longer that someone.

So why did I shave it off? The easy answer is convenience. Where I could never do a real wash-n-go, I now truly can. And I can feel my scalp! And my hats fit better, lol.

But no really, why did I shave it off?

Because I was tired of feeling like I couldn’t do something that I really wanted to do.

I’ve always loved short hair. When I used to wear my hair straight, I loved my cheek length hair cut (in middle school, go figure). I wouldn’t go shorter because I thought my head was too big, and my cheeks were too big, and it just wouldn’t look right on me. But I secretly dreamed of doing it over all these years, resolving that when I get to be sixty-something, I was going to cut it off because I wouldn’t care at that point.

But here I am in my thirties and I’ve decided that my excuses for not cutting it were based on a skewed perception and fear. I had talked myself out of doing it because I wasn’t bold enough to do what would bring me joy. I didn’t think I would “look right,” and well, maybe I do, maybe I don’t. But I FEEL right. My hair is no longer a crutch and it no longer hides me. And I know all too well about hiding who I am – I’ve done it for far too long.

This hair cutting adventure also parallels other avenues of my life. I know I often let fear stop me from doing all sorts of things, and I have procrastinated in doing a lot of other things too. So this step is a step in the direction of living beyond fear. A step toward being open to what I truly want for myself and having the guts to do it and get it, and to not be concerned with how harshly others judge me nor to get caught up in being judgmental of myself.

So here I am. No hair and all. Big cheeks and all. And a smaller head than I expected. And my husband took that lovely picture of me to show me just how beautiful I look to him because I’m still getting used to this change. Awwww! Somebody cue India Arie’s “I am not my hair,” lol.
Note to the reader: Like me, you’ve probably talked yourself out of doing the things that would bring you joy as well (or maybe other people talked you out of it). It might not be about hair. It could be about business, travel, school, singing, art, party planning, etc. I encourage you to take a look at those things and see if there is any room in your emotional space and life to take a step at going for it or at least to explore it. What have you really wanted to do but talked yourself out of?

Also, check out Shameless Maya videos on YouTube – a great source of encouragement for me as I took this step.