3 Steps to Giving yourself Permission [reflection/blog]

3 Steps to Giving yourself Permission [reflection/blog]

Share this:

Give yourself permission? To do what? To do whatever it is that your heart desires! So often, we find ourselves in situations, living an existence, that is well, just existing. There are cool dreams we have that too often we shun or ignore because they aren’t common, practical, or safe. We find ourselves with a lingering sense of un-fulfillment that gnaws at us, sometimes ever so quietly, other times loud and alarming. But why do we do that? Why do we prevent ourselves from doing things that truly matter to us. Sometimes, it’s because we do not give ourselves permission to.

Life example: About 10 years ago, I learned about mindset coaching and my heart skipped a beat. I wanted to do that! But I didn’t. I was afraid – that I would not be good, that I would not have the business savvy, that I wouldn’t be able to make a living. I said NO to myself even before I had the opportunity to really pray about and think things through. It took me some time, 10 years, to really revisit that. You know, when people ask, “what would you do if nothing was in the way?” Life coach came up again. This time, I refused to push it aside. I decided to say YES to my heart’s desire. And now I am enrolled in a mindset coach training program, ready to fulfill a dream! I have always wanted to be a Mindset Coach and I can’t wait to start my new career!

We always find ways to stay where we are, on the path we think is “right.” I know I did…for 10 years! But what would happen if we gave ourselves permission to fully dream and act on those dreams. What would happen if we gave ourselves permission to truly live? What would happen if we understood that those desires within us that linger, that we are afraid of, and that are in line with our true selves, are divinely inspired?

In my process to giving myself permission, I’ve learned 3 things:

1. Fear can be paralyzing but possible to overcome

2. Battling negative self-talk is a must

3. Self-awareness is key

All three of these were instrumental in me looking at what I need to do to find my sense of vocational/career joy. I also had to take some steps to permit myself to follow my heart. Here are a few steps to help you give yourself permission if you’re stuck in this area:

1. Unpack
Take some time to really think about what it is that you would love to do (travel, business, hobby, etc). Sit with it. Close your eyes and breathe if you have to. Use your spiritual practices (prayer, meditation, journaling, etc) to be discerning. What comes to mind? Write it down. Then write down every single fear you have about doing that thing.

2. Be real
Now think of every single obstacle that’s in your way of working toward that thing. (include people, money, your own thoughts, etc).

3. Imagine
Think about how different things would be for you if you did that thing. Brainstorm! Think of how you would feel, what your life would look like, how you would relate to others, etc.


4. Action
a. Say YES to yourself!
b. Decide one thing you can do today to move toward that thing. Just one! If you can come up with more, do that. Then go and…do that. See what comes up for you after you commit to that one action. Keep practicing, until you get the courage to completely dive in.


Brooke, the Life Coach

Do you give yourself permission to follow your interests and dreams? Give this exercise a try and let us know how it goes. We’d love to hear from you!


  1. Jennifer
    Jul, 03, 2014 7:31 PM

    Thank you for this post Brooke! And congrats on following your dreams. I think for me it’s usually financial security, concern for parents that impede me from jumping into a life of travel and working with children abroad and being this great advocate on Capital Hill addressing domestic and int’l issues concerning children.. I went to school for it, but I’ve only touched the service of it. I see it but it’s challenging at times to find the steps to walk into it especially when the everyday work of maintain job, church and family responsibilities are drilled in your mind as a priority. I like your steps and #4 is what I need to work on and pace myself, so instead of trying to tackle a list of to dos I’ll focus on tackling at a minimum one think per week to begin eliminating those obstacles including the fear.

    1. Brooke Harris
      Jul, 08, 2014 12:06 AM

      Glad you enjoyed it, Jennifer! There are a lot of things, especially domestic responsibilities, that prevent people from following their dreams. Fear is big though, and doing what we are “supposed to do” or “should do” – they get us every time, if we’re really honest about it. I look forward to hearing about the steps you take in going forward. And if you need some coaching on it, just let me know 😉

Comments are closed.