Why Reciprocity is Important in Friendships? [blog/reflection]

Why Reciprocity is Important in Friendships? [blog/reflection]

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Have you ever had a friend who was always there to…take from you?  They need you to listen to them, they want you to attend their parties, they want you to go shopping with them.  However, when you need an ear or when you have an event, they are flaky or no where to be found?

Having a friendship where reciprocity exists is important for long-lasting relationships.  You give, I take.  I give, you take.  Now sometimes, there may be seasons when one person takes more than they give, but that should not be the norm.  Reciprocity allows for a mutually beneficial relationship where each person feels they contribute to the relationship, feel they matter, and feel as if they are receiving/growing in the relationship.

Relationships that do not have reciprocity can feel very one-sided.  They can also leave us with questions about the nature of the relationship, and prompt us to want to create some distance.  They can also, if we’re honest, feel somewhat empty.

It’s important to take an inventory of our relationships and determine if there is an overall reciprocity.  Healthy relationships deserve it.  Those that don’t have it, might need to be re-evaluated.  If you find one or more of your relationships lacking, review the one important thing to help strengthen your friendships or consider if there needs to be a friend demotion.

What experience (or lack thereof) do you have with reciprocity in your friendships?  We want to hear from you!


  1. Deema
    Nov, 23, 2014 6:37 PM

    Ohhhh this was such a great read! I’ve been in a season of my life of demoting because it was to many takers. This was an on time read!

  2. Rachael Cabrales
    Apr, 15, 2015 8:16 AM

    Oh yeah. I have experienced this the last few years with a few people. I have had to distance myself from a friend who I first communicated with on how I felt about this very issue, but there was no change. I am just so tired of only being there for that person and meeting that person in that persons comfort zone etc with no true reciprocation back. To feel cared about, you at least need to see that every now and then, otherwise, you start to feel used.

  3. Bliss Andoh
    May, 10, 2016 3:48 AM

    This was timely! I’ve been wrestling with this same issue for some time now, I need to curb certain people out of my life.

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