Why We’re So Judgmental [blog/reflection]

Why We’re So Judgmental [blog/reflection]

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“Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?” Matthew 7:1-3

 

We’re not supposed to judge.  Yet we all do it.  Whether we say it aloud or keep it in our heads, we judge.  And we know it’s not right.  And some of us at times, or all the time, don’t care.  Why is it that we always have something to say about what another person is doing, what they said, and why?  Why is it that we’re so judgmental?

There are a few reasons I believe we see the “speck” in another person’s eye:

We have a Case of the know-it-alls
For some reason, we think we know-it-all, when really we’re about bunch of know-nothings. We like to think our opinion is right and our experience is all there is. Our opinion is king, despite the experience of another person.

We are uncomfortable and fearful.
The mere thought of something other than what we think or are used to makes us uncomfortable in some way. We don’t like to think of different and new things. We don’t like things that enable us to even think outside our box.

We have to really look at ourselves…and we don’t want to.
When someone’s decision/action is different from ours, we unconsciously think about our own lives, decisions, and possibilities. And that can be tough because thought out far enough and we’d have to really look at our own stuff. So we’d rather not do that, and just judge the other person and prevent our own self-reflection from happening.

We think we’re better than them
We’ve put in more work, we’re better people, and so on. That’s what we tend to think. So why should this other person succeed in ways we haven’t? We feel we’re owed something because we believe our lot in life has somehow placed us above others (or at least we want it to), and therefore, we find much to say.

Being judgmental can be a difficult habit to break.  Some of us are better at it than others.  But it’s important to break so that we can connect to one another better.  So if you find yourself being judgmental, remember to relax (don’t get yourself so worked up about another person), be open and flexible (other ideas and experiences do not negate yours and are okay too), be willing to look at yourself (it’s okay to be challenged and explore ourselves), and above all, be empathetic (we can all use another person understanding us instead of condemning us).  We all have our own crosses to bear, and our own journeys.  Let’s give each other some room to breathe…and be.  Above all else, let’s be kind.

Why do you feel we’re so judgmental? How do you guard against it?

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