Let’s be real, bringing two lives together under one roof, for one common cause is hard work. Often times we plan tirelessly as it relates to the actual wedding ceremony. Although the ceremony may be a wonderful time of celebration, we often overlook preparing for the life journey we have with our mate. Below are 5 things you should do before you get married.
Discuss the management of finances
Money issues are one of the leading causes of conflict in a marriage or relationship. Bringing two separate financial minds under one roof may be an extreme challenge, especially if you and your fiance or spouse have not had a discussion about how money will be managed. There is no exact formula to managing the household’s finances. Plan out what works for you and your spouse.
Map out a Family tree or Genogram
Family history has a major impact on how we see and operate in the context of a relationship. Although family history is often overlooked, if we dig into our family history we can learn a lot about each other. A detailed family tree will enable us to see both the positive and negative aspects of what we have been taught about relationships. In constructing a genogram, we can see relationships patterns (whether long lasting or ending in divorce) and we can also see if there are patterns of health issues. Map a family tree or genogram out together, be honest and detailed, and see what you learn about each other.
Discuss each other’s spirituality
How, when and where will you be worshiping God? Or is spirituality even important to you at all? Some of us have high expectations as it relates to spirituality, a relationship with God and religion. Also, most of us have an embedded theology (beliefs about God you were taught based on upbringing and life experiences) that we may not be willing to be flexible with. Whatever your beliefs are, you will have to ensure that you and your spouse will be able to coexist in a relationship spiritually.
Discuss roles and responsibilities and the expectations associated with them
Some of us come into a relationship with preconceived ideas as it relates to gender roles. Until there is a serious discussion, one party cannot be expected to do things in the relationship simply based on gender. For example we cannot assume that a female will be responsible for all the domestic duties in the home such as cooking or cleaning. We also cannot assume that the male will be responsible for all of the handy work. When we do not discuss roles and expectations conflict will arise because of assumptions.
Get a new bedroom set and bedding
Getting a new bedroom set and bedding is often overlooked when using current furniture. If you have had sex with other people prior to being married it not a good idea to have your spouse sleeping where someone else has laid there head. If you cannot afford a new bedroom set or a mattress, definitely purchase new bedding.
What are some other things that you think need to happen before getting married? Share your ideas below