Are you married, engaged or considering marriage? If so, have you left home or are you truly ready to leave home? Some of us are fine with leaving home in a physical sense but some of us never leave home mentally. In order to have a successful life as a married couple, the 1 thing you cannot forget to do is leave home, both physically and mentally.
The 1 thing married couples often forget to do as they become a union is leave home mentally.
Although married couples leave home in a physical sense they often remain mentally tied to their past life. Being tied to the past includes being tied to past relationships and loyalties to your family and friends. In taking a spouse, your loyalties must begin to shift towards the direction of your spouse. This shift involves a change in emotional allegiances and a shift in emotional loyalties that will have an implication on every significant relationship in each person’s life. Your friends and family members may be uncomfortable with this shift in loyalties towards your spouse and conflict may arise as a result. But we must remember, the idea is to become one flesh with your life partner (Gen 2:24). If you don’t make this shift how can you truly become a great team that works together in unison?
Leaving home can include some of the following:
- If your parent or previous boyfriend/girlfriend was domestic you cannot expect your current spouse to be the same way.
- Conflicts now have to be handled in house (or by a professional). Do not include family or friends in your conflicts and do not recruit them to join your side in an argument or dispute.
- Deciding where one lives works, attends church, studies at school or the occupation one chooses all may become pivotal moments in the process of leaving home. Your spouse has to be taken into consideration.
- Re-order your friendships. Your spouse must be moved to the top and some people will have a problem with that.
- Re-order your family structure. Your spouse must be placed a head of any family member, including your parents (this will be the most challenging one).
The Reason to Leave Home
If we remain at home, mentally it will only lead to conflict with our spouse as we place unrealistic expectations on them or isolate them by placing a greater importance on outside relationships.
So have you left home yet? If not, what are you waiting on? Comment below.
Referenced from Class Notes. N.p., 01 Apr. 2013 – Johnson, Cedric. “Re: PC 403 Couples and Family Counseling.”